Beautiful Mess Inside

Is diz so-called update???The bla-bla-ing dat im gonna poured out here???!!!I dunno,everything seems pointless and im feeling numb rite now..Have u ever been felt dat everything is too far, far away for ur reach,datz not even one thing u wish,u hope to happen,do come true???I used to make fun of those emos,tot dey were silly wif their 'so so emotionally' feelings over something dat we so-called L.I.F.E..But here i am,being all emos for the same reasons..
Talking how unfair diz world were,well,it is and will owez be...There's a day when i felt such a strong,tough gal,dat will and owez can overcome the obstacles in front of me and at the end of the day,i would scream my victory,but there's many days,many times dat i would felt how idiot i am,wat a failure i am,how silly i was to fight for wat i believe was the right thing,all by maself..
Im tired and i really2 mean it..Im tired wif everyone,those around me,im tired wif everything..I hate to admit diz,but im sick to pretend datz nothing happen,im sick to pretend dat 'it'll be ok', 'it'll all get better in time'..I hate to do those things but i juz have to..I've been trying to stop pretending all diz tym,but i cant,and itz like a disease i cannot cured..Past is past, and it hurt me so much but yet im still living in it..I tried to run away many times,but i'll end up keep coming back to the past after half-way..Dun tell me dat your life isnt about pretending too coz u might not realised about it dat urs actually is all or half about PRETENDING also..Take a deep breath and u will see and understand wat im talking about...
To take care of other people's feelings,we would lie and not tell dem the truth..To proved to everyone dat there's no need to worry about,we decided to kept all the worries to ourselves instead..To showed everyone dat u're a strong,tough gal,u'll owez smile and laugh and wouldnt ever show ur tears in front of dem...Im dat type of person,itz not easy for me to show my feelings in front of those people and i never trust dem coz i never dare to...
Call me silly,call me stupid,call me stubborn????Go on, im used to called maself dat since i learnt wat life is...If only i can be free,like those eagles,fly to the sky,peacefully...

Song of the day

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
Til it was a battle cry

I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never
Been this way before

All you can do is try to know
Who your friends are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light

You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye

You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye..

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
Til they're before your eyes

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye..

Attention!!!Watch Out Ur Drinks!!!

I've been you-tubing and bump into diz video,a gud guides for us,the ladies!!!The world now,is not safety as it seems and there are many people wif wrong intentions 'crawling,creeping,hunting itz prey' out there *goosebumps*...Diz video shows how does it take for 'those bad persons' to 'manipulate' ur drinks..Careful gals!!!Diz could happen anywhere,anytime,whether at a dinner table,a party or ur gals nyte out at a nyteclub...Eventho' u have ur friends to watch out ur drinks while u left,it wouldnt be 100% safety i say, coz they're out to have fun too,not to babysit ur drinks,so dey might not really 'take a gud care of it'...



So ladies,no matter 'how bored it was,to click the play button,watching it over again n again', remind urself diz: Itz for ur own gud,all the bad person out there can be very,very tricky..

OMG!!!!

OMG!!!!OMG!!!!I really cant believe wat i saw n heard juz now..What seems normal from the outside is not the REAL TRUTH..Now i know,dat the truth is really out there,if u r meant to found it,u'll actually found it at the rite time...Some people trying harder to find the truth and will do anything to succeed,but if itz not meant to be,den it wouldnt happen,the truth will be kept SECRET,away,far away from u...Todae,yeap,rite now,i was shocked after bump into my ex-clasmate's blogs..Well,at first,my 'shocked' was about ---haha,my old friend,my old clasmates,found her at laz,here at blogger---..but den,my 'shocked' turned into 'an unbelievable shocked' after reading all her posts..Man,she's different now..really really different..not physically but mentally and morality..I wont say tho' wat is really "THE TRUTH" dat i juz found out..I didnt have intention to spread "THE TRUTH" and i hope i'll never spread it,ever..But hey,im juz a human,a gurl who talks 2 much n i dunno til' when i can keep "THE TRUTH" to maself..Juz now pun,im oredy tot,who is the first person dat im gonna tell,will it gonna be our ex-clasmates also????But den i tot again,how am i supposed 2 say it???Should i juz say 'Hey guys!!!U know wat,she's a........... now!!!!!'
But again,im not dat mean,and i cant imagine tho' wat will their react to "THE TRUTH" coz dey are her best friend while im juz her friend..Sure,dey will feel 'bigger impact' compared to me..No wonder, before diz,while hang out wif my friends(including her ex-boifren,lets juz called him Z,ok the name sounds too typical n plain *change*,alrity den,let juz called him Mike)..Mike was talkin' and talkin but when her ex-gurlfren's name was mentioned,he suddenly stop talking and his expression was lyk -empty-..At dat tym,im not sure why was his expression is lyk dat,but now,i know the answer oredy..Looks like,only him n me dat know "THE TRUTH", for now..
Poor she...In luv but in a wrong way!!!Datz why, diz famous luv's belief do exist,rite???!!!
Coz when u're in luv,there's no such things as right and wrong,and if it does,u wouldnt give a damn care about it tho'...But in diz case,'her case' actually,is different,she's so much better than everyone,she's got everything n amongst of us,she was considered the lucky ones(Itz all about MONEY MONEY MONEY,dear!!!), but she chose the wrong way..I wonder if her family know bout it oredy...

Appearances Often Lie

Aaaargghhhh!!!!!Im dead!!!!!!Im dead!!!!!I told the 'same story', the 'same lie' to 'another person' todae,AGAIN..I repeat=AGAIN!!!!OK,actually diz lie,ya maybe y'all called it a 'lie',but in my case,i called it a 'white lie',diz is how the story begin,my oh-u're-so-dead-story..
Once upon a time, i made up diz story(SECRET but not so SECRET i guess),diz excuses a.k.a reasons dat actually hasnt been confirmed yet(ya, i know diz sounds complicated n u mite say 'damn,what da hell do she's talkin about???!!! My answer : U'll never understand diz story, unless U ARE ME,or U ARE ONE OF THE PERSONS DAT I LIED TO,nuff' said hun)..My 'intention' is juz to telling diz 'white lie' to diz certain people, but as i hate to admit it,im telling it to almost everyone dat i know(itz not like because im having pleasure watching dem trust every single word dat come from my mouth,but itz because dey ask me n all i have is 'the white lie',n datz what i give 2 dem,trust me,im not dat mean,i didnt have another choice,walk in my shoes 4 a day,no, try 4 an hour,u'll understand ME)...And now, im afraid dat i will 'get caught red handed' telling the lies *sigh*..Im dead!!!!Im really screwed up..U mite say dat im selfish or hypocrite or watever u want to label me, but I JUZ HAVE TO DO DIZ,I HAVE TO,2 SURVIVED IN DIZ CRUEL WORLD........

FORGIVE AND FORGET

Ya, talkin' bout diz forgive n forget thingy, eventho dey say 'juz forgive them',its really hard to do it *sigh*..And when dey say 'juz forget it,forget it all', diz is harder,really!!!Trust me!!! *big sigh*...And it'll getting harder and harder again when u tried to pretend that everything's okay,that nothing's happen..Life's getting more and more complicated now that i cant even understand it,until i 'bumped' into diz words from diz simple yet ordinary site(dat then give me something to think about, one of the precious lessons of life) :

" There's something greater than revenge, it is forgiveness". To forgive is HARD, but to forget is
IMPOSSIBLE. Somehow, we dont have to forget in order to forgive.Forgiving is a decision. The hurt may still be very much there. But forgive, and you will be freed from all anger and bitterness, be freed from the bound of hatred dat will only hurt u more (revenge will never do the healing, it is always forgiveness)After all, God has given His ALL to forgive us.

Ok, i guess im being Miss Philosophy again rite now :P..But,as a human being,diz is our way to survive dear,say HIP HIP HOORAY!!!!
But itz not over yet(i mean my 'philosophical's mood') Still got more to 'poured' here baybeh!!!Say WE WANT MORE!!!WE WANT MORE!!!...:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don 't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.

38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

42 . Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

45. The best is yet to come

46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up!

47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

48. If you don't ask, you don't get.

49. Yield.

50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

-END-

Ok,now,where could i find another philosophical stuff lae????*talk 2 maself*